How to Train a Guy

I have friend who, in his youth, was pretty wild and he really liked the women. I remember at one time he was seeing 3 women at the same.

Most of the girls he dated, girls being a better word to describe them, were the type one should not bring home.

When he went on a blind date set up by mutual friends, it was with a woman totally out of character from anyone in his past. She was an all-around fine young lady. They dated for a few months, and then he broke up with her.

All his friends and family were caught completely off guard. I asked him how he did it. He told me he took her to a really fancy restaurant, gave her flowers, and then dumped her.

I told him he was a jerk. I actually used much stronger language.

Until he graduated from college, my friend worked at least 2 and sometimes 3 jobs at a time. He had to completely support himself. I would frequently raid the pantry/freezer at my house and also bring TP, napkins, and paper plates to his apartment. (If I was going to hang out there I wanted to make sure the basics were covered for me as well!)

He never spent any money on her for basic girlfriend stuff. When he told her about what turned out to be their last date, she was super excited and told all her friends. She was, and rightly so, thinking some kind of very positive step forward in the relationship was about to happen.

Can’t even imagine how devastated she must have been.

After a few months of the usual, he calls back fine young lady. Surprisingly, she agrees to go out with him. After about 2 years of dating they become engaged and marry. They are still married, 12 and half years later with a talented, very intelligent, articulate little girl.

What happened along the way was very interesting, and amusing to me.

A few months after marriage, my friend and I go play a round of golf. Afterwards he invites me over to watch some games, as was usual pre-marriage. I ask if he has cleared that with the little woman first. I do what I want, was his reply. I raise an eyebrow and say no more.

As we are getting off the freeway, he suggests we go back to my place instead and watch games. I smirked and said okay. We are there about 25-30 minutes when my phone rings. It’s the little woman, and may she please speak to her husband. He goes into another room and emerges about 10 or 15 minutes later. Halftime comes, and he says he has to go home now. I smile.

A few years later things are going well for them and she gives the household a complete makeover. He shows me around. When we get to the master bedroom, he announces it as His and Her bedroom. I shake my head. I say no, this is her bedroom; she just lets you sleep here. He gives some protest to my characterization of the room, which I completely ignore.

I few months later I come over to watch some games. She is not there. He spends several completely unnecessary minutes complaining about some pictures she bought for several rooms. I remember the pictures not being in and of themselves something that I particularly cared for, but they were REMARKABLE in one regard. Each contained a bit of every single color, and sometimes textures, represented in that room: carpet, curtains, borders, furniture. It was actually quite remarkable. Even after pointing that out, he was still a little upset at her choices in painting subjects. I told him to shut up, it’s not his house anyways, it’s hers, she just lets him live there.

Why some married men ever get this thought is beyond me. Hence the word mancave, that is your space. Everything else is hers.

Couple three years ago, he takes me on a tour of their current house. We get to the master bedroom. Before he makes an announcement about what room we are in now I say, this is the little woman’s bedroom and you just sleep here. He smiled, laughed, and agreed.

She has trained him well.

I have a friend who is pretty hot. Guys flirt with her all the time. She’s been training her man for about 3 years now. By all accounts, he’s still on the bottom of the learning curve but he is making consistent progress.

She doesn’t usually flirt back but found herself attracted to another guy recently. However, she’s a very sensible, well-grounded person, and quickly put that moment into the past. She’s got work to do. She’s put a lot in. It seems to be starting to pay off.

Smart men are trainable. Very few of us come plug and play, as it were, to use a tech toy term. We’re guys. There’s lots of stuff we don’t know. You’re girls. You know things.

That was yesterday’s topic 🙂

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