What to do when a relationship is over

On average, my guess-timation is that a person will have 3 to 4 significant relationships in their lifetime. This idea is based solely on my own experience and with talking with others I know regarding relationships. Having said that, the issue becomes how do you recover and begin a new happy and healthy relationship, or how do you recover and decide you are going to be a happy and healthy single.

You just do.

One thing that is certain about life, it goes on.

Sometimes we end a relationship because we started the relationship on what turns out later to be a false premise. Sometimes we make an emotional decision to end a relationship; not a good thing, but sometimes necessary. Sometimes we end a relationship after thinking through all the reasons of why we should stay in the relationship, but really, if you are not happy all the other reasons don’t matter. Sometimes circumstances just change and the relationship, based on factors that make up your life now, make your relationship not a good fit for where your life is going now. Sometimes it’s a combination of some or all of these reasons.

Whatever the reason, you are going to experience depression. Accept it, embrace it, cry. Tears will cleanse your soul. Know you are a better person now. Find comfort in knowing you made the right decision. Yes it hurts, no you are not a bad person for hurting someone else’s feelings. You have to be true to yourself and if you are not happy in a relationship, you cannot live a lie.

If others are so perfect, that they sit in judgment of a decision you have made, that’s on them. Let no one determine how you feel about yourself. You made a decision, if anyone is hurt by that decision tell them you’re sorry, please forgive, and let’s move on.

It’s all about perspective. Time will heal all. Each day focus on the task(s) at hand. Get stuff done, move on. Each day the ending of that relationship will move farther and farther into your past, and always remember; never let something behind you trip you.

Again, use perspective. Remember the good stuff in the relationship and carry that with you. Those are wonderful memories you may or may not want to recreate in a new relationship. Also think about what was missing in the relationship that you hope, if you decide to have another one, you would like to experience with a new person.

That’s another thing to remember. You have experience now. You know what makes you happy. You know what you do like and what you don’t like. Be up front with any potential person about that if you want a better relationship. Let them know up front what you expect from them in a relationship, what they can expect from you, and what is not acceptable.

The human spirit has an amazing ability to persevere. Forgive yourself for ending a relationship, particularly if the other person saw nothing wrong in the relationship. It’s your life. Treat yourself well; think of yourself in the best possible terms. Ending a relationship does not make you a bad person. Again, we all from time to time have to make decisions that are in our best interests. There is a life you must live, yours! From this point forward you will create a lot of good and positive things and you will be with good people who will love you and who you love 😀

Remember that. We are loved, flaws and all by our family and friends. We may or may not hear it from them, but that love will always heal us and help us recovery from anything in our life, particularly the ending of a relationship.

During this difficult time emotionally do your best to stay as mentally balanced as possible. Things right now are never as bad as they seem and you are not a bad person. There is good out there still in you and around you. Find it. Embrace it.

Perspective

Sometimes you got to step back and take a look at the big picture. How does a this moment, this day, this week, whatever fit into who you are, how you feel normally, what are your long term plans in life. We all have times where for whatever reason we have to change the circumstances in our life so we can keep moving positively towards the goals we have as an individual.

We have no control about others feelings or opinions or attitudes. If you hurt other people’s feelings, tell them you are sorry, please forgive, and move on. We can never concern ourselves with someone or some people that can’t get over a decision we made. Life is too short. Live to make yourself happy.

Know that the people that truly love you, and whose feelings you should always regard, are the people that support the decisions you make that are good for you! 😀

Life is good. Life is great. If you are reading this, you have at least one great friend!

Please share my blog with your friends 😀

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2 Responses to What to do when a relationship is over

  1. Clara says:

    thank you so much for this article 🙂

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