I have been blessed with very good relationships and with people to have good friendships with throughout my life. I am also very blessed that I have been able to be witness to many very good and positive relationships growing up. I remember my best friend from kindergarten, Roy Fujimora. I don’t remember why he was my best friend just that he was. It could have been because he had a girlfriend, who I thought was the prettiest girl in our class, April (I said I liked girls at a very young age) The teacher was okay with them walking around during recess and holding hands and at nap time (do they even do naptime anymore?) they would lie next to each other. Didn’t know the label at the time, but Roy was a badass 😀 I know none of other kids made a big deal about Roy and April being boyfriend and girlfriend. I think it was because of the “matureness,” the calmness, the genuineness about how they carried themselves and just a unique degree of respect Roy and April had for and showed each other. They both moved away after kindergarten. It just occurred to me that both parents might have moved because of this unusual friendship. How sad
I had lots of good friends and relationships throughout my elementary, junior high, and high school years. Most of my friends at that time would be generally the same age as me, but I did always have quite a number of friends that were older than me all the time. Mostly, during elementary and junior high school times, it was because I had a sister 4 years older than me. I was a “cool” kid (whatever that means) I would hang with my sister and her friends on occasion. Then in high school I was in a rock band, as a freshman and sophomore, and played in clubs and kegger parties (how was that possible?!, different times *smh*), where the crowds were older teens and young adults. Then as a junior and senior in high school I was in a youth group where the age limit was 21 and I would go to parties where half the crowd would be 20 and 30 somethings.
Oh, and my freshman year my best friend was a senior who had been adopted when his parents biological children were already adults, and we would go to his brothers’ houses and hang with them and they were in their 30’s and 40’s. It ironic; I remember being told I had an “old soul” 😀
I have talked about before about growing up at the swap meet, in my “Pimping” blog. I watched and learned a lot about ALL KINDS of people and different types of relationships people could have, at a very young age.
At this point I will say by the age of 13 I felt more like a 30 year old, and by 16 I was thinking if I even MADE IT to 30, it was going to be a minor miracle 😀
Age and friendships and relationships are funny things. I was hanging with some younger people not long ago and I don’t remember the conversation but I had apparently made reference to my vintageness several times because one of the young persons interrupted me and said I needed to stop referring to myself as old, because I was not old 😀 I knew what he was saying
True relationships, true friendships, communication between people that is genuine and “real” is timeless and ageless. By real, I mean the filters between us are at their lowest levels. By filters I am talking about how we consciously and unconsciously role play in our daily lives and our daily communications. We create artificial barriers between us and other people, more often than not, out of function. Sometimes it is also a way for some people try to control their world.
I learned a long time ago we are not all living in the same world. That is what I was speaking of the other day when I was talking about the voices inside our head and the words we believe, and what we believe those words to mean, in my “Love and a New Year” blog.
Sometimes it’s healthy to drop all pretentions and just have moments with others that are honest, straightforward, sincere, plain and proper, candid, authentic, and timeless, ageless 😀
I ran across a letter (yes it was hand written) that I saved. It was from a student long ago. She had graduated HS a year or two earlier and she wanted to thank me for the lessons that I taught that were outside the curriculum. She didn’t mention any topics in particular, just that she was working and going to school and that a lot of the words I had spoken in class she still carried with her and they were helping her as she was making her way through her young life.
The neighborhood around that school could be rough. When a student walks into class with tears streaming from her eyes and you ask what’s wrong and she tells you her boyfriend was shot last night, and a classroom full of students hears this just as you heard it, 20 or 30 minutes of why and what now discussion seemed to me not only reasonable, just the human thing to do. Or on another day and time you ask if anyone knows why Nick and Richard aren’t in class and the answer is they were drinking and driving and crashed the night before and both are in I.C.U. a finger shaking and don’t drink and drive statement is not going to have as much impact as a short discussion about how do we help people we love make better decisions.
I am thankful that many of the people know recognize and acknowledge the uniqueness of my character. I would be nothing without their friendship. The pleasure, the privilege, the joy, and the honor I feel knowing so many amazing people goes beyond spoken words. The brightness, the fire, the passion their lives bring to the world warms my heart and feeds my soul. THEY are love personified and I reflect back to them the truest and purest of the essence we share as people.