Getting back with an Ex

“Getting back with an ex is like taking a shower and putting your dirty underwear back on.” – Anonymous

“Getting back with an ex is like reading the same book and expecting a different ending.” – Anonymous

I have never been broken up with so dealing with this situation, being the person that I am I went to the internet and Googled “getting back with an ex.” Those first two quotes were the first things that popped up on the first link. It wasn’t until I got to the fourth hit on the list where I found something somewhat positive on the idea of getting back with an ex. Even then it was much about what is best for the individual. None of the hits on the first page were about getting back with an ex that you initiated the break up with.

I can’t pretend to know or understand anything about any such ideas of committing oneself to another individual. The fundamental idea of life, I believe, is to be happy. Relationships between men and women, on basis of the fundamental differences between men and women, seem to be fraught with more conflict than harmony. The fact that so many men and women forge through life together speaks volumes about them as individuals to want to work together, to compromise, and to be sensitive to each other’s needs. I understand there are some relationships that are simply pragmatic, void of any romantic concepts of love. Those seem to be pointless. In this day and age; there is no shame in singleness, or in single parenthood.

It would seem then that most people have bought into the relationship and marriage ideas that this society has fed them since birth: we all should strive to find someone, marry, and have children. There are billion dollar industries that feed on those ideas. Fundamentally, there are no flaws in those thoughts. The reality is that that is not true for everyone. Honestly, look around you. I am sure it would not take you long to think of people that should not procreate 😀

There’s an expression out there, there is someone for everyone. I do believe that to be true for most people. I know several men and women who by the blessing of the Good Lord found someone, or were found by someone, that not only were they compatible with, those relationships made them better people. I don’t believe that to be true for all people, that there is someone for everyone. I do believe singles will find someone or some people who they are totally compatible with in all ways except physical intimacy.

I found this quote today: ” The place between the end of something old and familiar and the start of something new and exciting; between sadness and anxiety: That’s the place where Awesome lives.” I Googled that quote in whole, and in different parts, couldn’t find a source. I don’t know if it is true; frankly, I don’t care if it is true. I think the idea is awesome and therefore I now believe it to be true 😀

I shudder at the thought that anyone would see me now and think, um hmm, gotta get me some of that. Talking with a friend this morning at breakfast, not about this specifically, but about my general attitude about myself, he said I have a Jazz musician’s attitude. I thought that was a very interesting way to frame those thoughts that I have about myself, in general 😀

Back to the idea of getting back with an ex, or just idea of having a relationship with anyone in general, If you, I, we believe the fundamental idea about life is to be happy, we need to find happiness, calmness, peace within ourselves before we can contemplate sharing our life with another person.

That is a great mystery in life: the search for happiness, the search for calmness in our soul, the search for a timeless peace in our mind and in our heart. Our mind is cluttered with so many thoughts, so many words, so many ideas. Maybe that is a thought to consider. How does companionship with another person bring us closer to knowing, finding, realizing the person we are meant to be?, or is that even a consideration. Yes we are human and that fact is best expressed through interaction with others, and when we do that we must consider others feelings. But where do we separate the importance of others feelings and the importance of our own feelings?, or do we? Is there no separation?

Basically, I am chicken. I have chosen not to even deal with these questions, in terms of a long term intimate relationship. I chose a simple life, to do the best I can with the people in my professional and personal life and then to end each day alone and content and at peace with myself and the world that exists between my ears 😀

Bless those of you that hope and dream of more 😀

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