How to break up with a Friend

You just do!

I don’t know how this happened but I just saw a FB PM that was sent to me last August by an ex-friend’s apparently ex-wife 😀

First the ex-friend part

I had/have a friend (we haven’t talked in a couple of years, lives about an hour away, super rich now, family, travels a lot, meh) I met in honor band way back in elementary school days. We went to junior high together, high school, and started college together. I was the best man at his wedding 13 years ago. Through our early 20’s and 30’s we either played basketball or golf every weekend. Then we’d hang out at his or my place and drink and watch sports. He has a brother that started joining us more often than not, and after my friend got married, it was his brother and me doing the golfing and hanging.

We, my friend and I, used to have nicknames for his brother: sunshine, mr. happy, giggles. They were because more often than not this guy was always on the edge of surly. I knew of him from way back. All of his friendships with guys ended in fist fights. That’s where I came in. I am the friend of the friendless 😀

I never really had any problems with the guy, I am a pretty amiable guy. If you can’t get along with me, there is definitely something wrong with you 😀 One issue I did have with the guy was the way he treated his wife. Nothing that would really qualify as abusive, just not nice and definitely surly at times.

Women. I know in the past I have spoken of my thought about women being better than men, and they are for the most part, but when a woman loves a man, it is sometimes something that defies logic. I should know. The women that loved me definitely deserved much better 😀

Cut to the chase: he, ex-friend, asks me to help him get online about 13 years ago. I come to find out he is motivated into doing this because he has made contact with an old girl friend living in Florida. Their communication escalates to the point where he and she make plans for him to come out and visit and see if anything for a relationship is still there. I am floored.

His wife is/was (?) the most loving, beautiful, kind, caring, etc., etc. woman EVER. I loved her very much, as a person. They didn’t come any better than her. That he would do this to her made me realize that just because no one else wanted him to be his friend didn’t mean that I had to. Even if it meant I could possibly be leaving her alone with him. Two things made this matter worse and hardened my position that our friendship was over. His mother got wind of his pending travel arrangements. She told him in no uncertain words that if he went, he was choosing this other woman over her and she would no longer accept him as her son. He said he was fine with that. The other was that he was going to make his wife take him to the airport and pick him up when he came back!

Two things blew me away there. That he would have he nerve to have her do that and that she would agree to that! I called her and told her I would handle transportation for him.

I don’t remember the conversation we had going to the airport. Just so over the whole thing at that point.

He was gone 3 or 4 days. During that time his wife came over my house every night and would basically cry for about an hour or so. They have no children and she has a career, car, own bank account, etc. I urged her every night to pack and leave. She has extensive family and lots of love and support. Honestly, I started wondering if she did, what would be a respectable amount of time that should pass before I ask her for a date 😀 I let that thought pass. Very awkward to be dating your best friend’s brother’s ex-wife.

Ex-friend came back from Florida. He obviously had a terrible time. I don’t remember any details (I would have made an excellent priest; as soon as you would have left the confessional, I would have forgotten everything! :D) I dropped him off. He called me 2 or 3 times after that day. I never answered. I am glad he figured it out quickly.

Well I responded to her message yesterday. I don’t think she uses FB that much. Lost her number as I have changed phones several times since. Who writes down phone numbers anymore? Ain’t nobody got time fo dat! 😀

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