A brief note: there will be some stuff about drum corps in this next series of posts, but I was quite a conflicted young man this summer and a majority of my writing was about complicated relationships I was having. In the end my view of myself and what happened will be balanced out with letters from friends who wrote in my journal towards the end of the summer or on the way home. You have been warned 😀 I skipped the first few days to get to complicated/conflicted Ray
July 2, 1986 San Diego Wednesday
First time with Lisa
July 5, 1986 Bingo Hall heading to East LA College Saturday
F, F, F, F, F, I wish people knew that leaving at 5:30 doesn’t mean getting there at that time. Also wish that people who are not sitting on my bus would GET THE F OFF!
July 8, 1986 Bingo Hall heading to Phoenix, AZ Tuesday
Finally going somewhere. Just chilling right now, writing
Frannie is sitting with me. Very soft spoken. She’s reading a letter from her boyfriend right now. I don’t have the heart to tell she will be breaking up with him before this tour is over
July 9, 1986 Phoenix, AZ Wednesday
I didn’t get any sleep at all last, AT ALL!!!!! I got closing my eyes maxed out though. Apparently Frannie does color guard work in her sleep. Grrrr. w/e Before we left the Bingo Hall some people got really drunk. Brad was the worse; then he gets on the bus and starts apologizing over and over to everyone. WE DON’T CARE. Grrrrr. Lisa was hating life last night; she was super sick and coughing and coughing
OMG Cindy is really, really, really cute! I think Kenny is starting to really like Sharon. Sharon is cute, but too cute for me 😀 Kenny’s mom packed a goodie bag for him. She’s so awesome; he’s hyping on it right now 😀
I hope things go well this morning, as in rehearsal and stuff
July 10, 1986 Bingo Hall Thursday
Second week of July and we are still not on tour! Didn’t really sleep last night; feeling like I’m on an emotional rollercoaster. I hope I can sleep on the bus later. Sharon has been way too nice to me lately 😀 I am trying to mind my business and Karen and Kathy are sitting in front of me at another table, looking at me, whispering, giggling, looking back at me, etc w/e I’m not moving, waste my time.
July 11 Santa Clara, CA Friday
I think I’ve been acting like a jerk to a lot of people lately; it’s a combination of little things that are bothering me. It seems like some many people are just concerned with themselves and not really thinking how that is affecting/effecting other people. (2013 comment: OMG did not see the irony in that statement when I wrote it, teehee) Here’s the thing with me I CAME HERE TO MAX MY GIG I AM NOT HERE TO ENTERTAIN YOU!!!
So Lisa sat with me last night. I know she was tired and sleeping already, but there was the most awesome meteor shower! She didn’t have to be all grumpy about me wanting to share that with her. w/e I hit the aisle after that
Had some weird dreams (?) The aisle didn’t suck too bad – but it didn’t suck good either 😀 Time to rehearse!!!
Dinner/lunch/supper was awesome Teriyaki chicken, white rice, salad w/cucumbers and tomatos, and apricots. OMG, my head feels sooooo much better
Jennifer is such a cutie, babe, sweetie!!!
During horn sectionals, I got pissed with the contras rehearsal etiquette. I stepped out of line and talked some smack to them. They got back in my face. I was wrong. What the hell was I thinking
So there’s this rope in the middle of the gym that goes all the way to the ceiling rafters. Someone asked me if they think I could climb to the top. I dunno, I said. So I did, because apparently I can 😀
RAY IS STRESSING!!! I just talked with Greg Clark (G.C.) and FFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!! WE ARE NOT GETTING IT DONE. GOOD AND PRETTY GOOD DON’T MEAN SHIT! I HAVE GOT TO PUSH MY OWN BUTTONS. I DO BUT ——–BULLSHIT!——— I HIT THE WALL AND STOP PUSHING MYSELF. I WILL NOT TAKE THAT ANYMORE, BECAUSE I CAN BE BETTER!!!!!
Pam and Sharon are being so nice to me consistently and if I am not ignoring them I am giving them attitude
I am sitting here writing and Karen, Lisa, and Kathy are nearby, looking at me, whispering, giggling, looking back at me, etc Didn’t this just happen the other day? Wtf
July 18, 1986 Bingo Hall Friday
Finally, Big Tour (Finals were on August 15th that year)
Pam gave up trying to talk to me. Trying to decide if I should change that. What the hell, Ray?! Make up your mind and stop playing games! Karen hasn’t tried talking to me in several days either. Not like I’m surprised by either. Don’t know why they want to talk to me in the first place.
Kenny made me feel good when he told me he had been looking for me. I don’t know why that made me feel good, but it doesn’t matter anyway Lori made me feel real good to when she randomly walked up to me and gave me a big hug 😀 She’s really sweet, I like Lori 😀 After 4 years of marching together Lori and I are starting to kinda hang 😀
Sitting on the bus now, trying to figure out why we are not leaving. Oh, apparently they are still looking for seats for some people. Kenny says this is bullshit. I agree
Michelle and Jennifer are so, so, so HAPPY!!!!! 😀
Frannie is such a sweet girl. Wonder how many weeks before tour gets to her. Have not heard one swear word from that girl. I am going to really miss her. Wow! That was a weird thing to write at the beginning of tour
July 19, 1986 Bountiful, UT Saturday
I am feeling emotionally burned out! It is effecting my rehearsal performance quality. I really need to kick myself in the ass.
I hope Kenny and Sharon are able to get together. Really, I do 😀
So me, Jerry, Brian N., and G.C. are going to do a workout every day before the corps wakes up: 75 pushups, 150 leg lifts, and 300 sit ups. Sweet! Lori and Sharon say they want to do it too. Yeah, right. I asked Sharon if she wants to fool around, she’s says not yet. Damn, really Ray. Just stop now
Wonder where Julie is? Hmmm, maybe. Just a question of time 😀
July 20, 1986 Bountiful, UT Sunday
If I wasn’t such a jerk————People would be nicer to me. Why am I excepting people to be nice to me if I am deliberately acting like a jerk?! Gah!
Kenny and I are changing. We don’t groove like we used to. I am sure it’s me. He called me a fat ass this morning. I only create the illusion of fitness 😀
Rehearsal went well this morning, so well they gave us 2 hours for lunch!!! How cool!!! 😀 They also gave us a longer break too because they told us tonight we playing a lot and full dynamics.
Well, rehearsal was awesome tonight!
Kenny is frustrated. He really likes Sharon, but it’s not happening.
So I decided to play nice. I was talking with Karen, Debrah, and Julie and they just kept giggling and laughing. Damn. Why am I so entertaining to some people?!
July 21, 1986 Bountiful, UT Monday
Second day doing the morning workout! We did the 75 pushups, 150 leg lifts, but we all stopped at 160 sit ups. We were all still beat up from doing 300 sit ups yesterday, but we each did 10 more than the 150 we said we would do before we started 😀 During warm-ups with the corps I was pumped! Morning rehearsal went well
Went to the store with Lisa and Kenny. Time to go hype!!!
July 22, 1986 Bountiful, UT Tuesday
It’s raining, and raining, and raining. Did our work out. OMG, my abs hate me
We went to the field/swap anyways. That was ridiculous; wound up going back to the gym. Then we went to the parking lot field/kiddie pools. No one got hurt.
I know I am irritating a lot of people by the way I am treating them. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Sometimes I just want all my focus on the gig and I really couldn’t care less about anyone.
July 23, 1986 Glenwood Springs, CO Wednesday
AWESOME SHOW LAST NIGHT!!! I did tick 3x, meh I don’t know why I was still in such a bad mood after. Frannie noticed and sat with me last night. That helped a lot. Still amazed that such a small person takes up so much seat space. Damn color guard work
We got the afternoon off. Kenny, Brian N., Pam, Frannie, and I went and had pizza 😀
Tour is weird!
Frannie is so nice, so consistently nice. I like her a lot. I actually like a lot of people this year, more so than last year (2013 comment: OMG my mood swings are off the charts!)
Pam needs to mellow out. She really likes Brian N., but her personality is a bit much
Color guard worked the end of the show over and over tonight. I am sure they are glad they did.
Don’t know why I am attracted to Lisa. Her eyes, her nose, her curly top 😀 I dunno
Here comes Nate! I think he is really funny, but sometimes he is a little too much for me. He and Robert, and Matt and Russell are like Laurel and Hardy or R2D2 and C3PO. Unique individuals make interesting buddies
Tomorrows workout lineup: the usual plus Eric(?), and Dave M.
July 24, 1986 Glenwood Springs Thursday
Had another awesome show last night!
July 25 1986 Colorado Springs, CO Friday
Didn’t feel like writing much yesterday. I had a chance to, just didn’t. It kept raining, and raining, and raining so I spent a lot of time just watching the rain 😀
Frannie sat with me last night. It was nice. She was trying to tell me something as she was falling asleep, but I couldn’t understand what she was saying.
Went to the store and bought a pound of chocolate and gave it all away 😀 I am a freak
Some people are really starting to get on each other’s nerves. It happens every tour (2013 comment: take note children!) First week: personality clashes and tension. Second week: confrontations. Third week: Cold War. Forth week everybody accepts everybody else AKA it is what it is.
I felt INCREDIBLE after the workout this morning. Maybe in a couple of days we can go for two big sets. That would be HOT!!!
Great show tonight! Odd side note the Sky Ryders beat us. Oh well 😀
Looks like Kenny and Sharon are getting together after all. I don’t know why that kinda bums me out. Guess I do like her too, w/e Don’t know why I am still inconsistent with Pam
Lisa says she wants to sit with me on the next ride. Cool 😀
Looking at Cindy right now. Damn! Like her a lot too
Jully 26, 1986 Colorado Springs Saturday
It’s raining, again. Don’t know why I even bothered to write that. It has consistently rained the past few days. It has REALLY messed with our rehearsal time. We were supposed to have another night off tomorrow. I don’t think that is going to happen. Unless, maybe we throw down the show of all shows tonight! Might get a night off tomorrow in that case 😀
Damn. Cindy looks extra hot today. I have to tell her what I really think because this is seriously bothering me; and Sharon too. I will talk with her first
The corps is starting to do very well, picking up momentum. Not like last year when we basically flat lined the last two weeks. The Mile High show has traditionally been a good one for us. It’s such an awesome stadium had not to be super hyped for a great show 😀
Brain N. says I’m looking good 😀 Cool, and he’s a dude. Actually I have noticed extra attention lately from some people. I will deal with all of that soon.
So yeah, lots of thoughts/feelings, etc I have been having is causing me a lot of stress. I need to just throw it all out there and be honest and let stuff fall where it may
July 27, 1986 Lyons, CO Sunday
I need to look for opportunities to take people aside and talk to them straight up and stop pushing them away with my attitude
It’s 3AM and we are up at 9:30
I think Brain N. likes Pam, but her personality. Yeah, give it some time
We need more performer initiative. Staff is working way too hard pushing us. We need to push ourselves!
Talked with Lisa tonight. She’s going to take some time and think about what I told her.
I feel so good this morning!!! WHOOSH!!!! I look good too!!!! Hahahahahahaha 😀
Take-out pizza for lunch at the baseball game. Did a stand still. Rehearsal went well. Dinner was good: meatloaf and baked potatoes
Talked with Sharon. She’s so weird. I was honest with her and she still wants to be friends. Why, even when I am completely honest do people still want to be my friend?
Watching Michelle and Jennifer. They have an incredible friendship and I am sure they appreciate it. Wow! They just randomly turned around and told me I am way rad! Cool 😀 I be
July 28, 1986 Hutchinson, KS Monday
Sat with Pam last night. OMG. Yeah, anyways, we cool 😀
Lisa brought me ice and Gatorade last night. Guess that’s her answer 😀 That look she gave me 😀
Leaving Kansas on the way to OK. Debrah just came by and told me we need to talk. I will talk with her soon.
Kenny complimented me on handling myself more maturely lately. Yeah, he was just tired about people always coming to him asking him what my problem was.