I remember about about 7 years ago I had picked up a friend early one Sunday morning to go to church. It was one of the things we did together at the time; we were both in the choir. I really enjoyed those times for a variety of reasons, mostly that after church, more often than not anything could happen. She was usually full of energy and always had ideas about things we could do after morning fellowship, places to go, and the conversarion and company were always the best 🙂 This morning ride to church was not a typical morning by any stretch.
I could tell from the time I picked her up, she was in a deep, deep thought kind of mood. The thousand mile gaze in her eyes. The reserved stillness in her body language. All her energy seemed to be pulling into her center. After about 15-20 minutes of silence after the good morning greeting, as she was staring out of the passenger window, away from me, she said, “Do you ever feel like the world spinning around will throw you off into space and you’ll just float away.”
“Yes, yes I have.” , I told her.
She spoke no other words as she continued gazing out the window. We didn’t make eye contact for another 10-15 minutes.
She was at a point in her life where there was a lot of uncertainty about almost every aspect. We all go through those moments, days, weeks, months. Hopefully not years. I’m happy to say soon after that morning, her outlook and opportunities started to dramatically improve. She is more than content now; has been for a number of years 🙂 I saw a recent post by her talking about a positive personal/professional process she’s in now.
I think that is what we all seek. A degree of contentment in our personal and professional life 😀
That’s the simple complexity of life; a continuous process. The contentment comes from knowing and understanding that there are ups and downs in life, sometimes daily. Uncertainty in a certain outcome will be mixed in with an absolute sureness of certain other outcomes. We will experience fear, joy, anger, and calm sometimes all in a single moment! 😀
I feel like I’ve had this knowledge and understanding for almost as long as as I’ve been capable of abstract thought. The darkness and sense of void my friend was feeling that morning is something I consistently deal with. Whether that is normal, natural, healthy matters not to me because I believe it is!
Not that everyday I think I’m going to be thrown off the earth, but that any day I could have a Biff-like my moment and go face first into a pile of manure (Back to the Future reference 🙂 ) For me, its a way to balance my attitude, perspective, and emotions which are generally shamelessly positive and optimistic
The simple complexity of life