Flirting Successfully


You have to have it, confidence. If it doesn’t come to you naturally you have to create an image in your mind of someone who is confident and you have to be that person. You are flirting, for heavens sake! No one wants to talk with someone, especially if they don’t know them, unless they are projecting some kind of confidence about themself, like, hey!, I’m important! Smiling is also a must, but not just any smile. Practice this in a mirror. Have the thought, “I know something you don’t know.” That’s the smile you want to project. Another thought you want is, “I could be a million other places right now, but I am choosing to be here with you right now. Consider yourself lucky.” Practice, practice, practice and perform those smiles for male and female friends, get their feedback. You have got to get your confident smile down to perfection.

Good Posture

Again, practice, practice, practice. Put space between each vertebrae. When you walk, don’t let your feet touch the ground. Have the feeling that at any moment your body will leave the earth like a rocket in slow motion. You have to feel your energy from your feet pushing through the top of your head. Practice, practice, practice. Take pics and video of you moving AND looking sexy while completely still. If you are not like me and can fall outta bed with your sexy getting all over everything like cat hair, you have to practice the sexy!

Eye Contact

There is a fine line, person to person, about the appropriate amount of eye contact for flirty conversation. I think the basic rules to follow here are who is talking and what is being said. As a rule, I would say while the other personis talking, ALWAYS maintain eye contact. However, when they look away, RESIST THE TEMPTATION TO CHECK THEM OUT!!! If you must, get a quick glance at their goodies, then quickly evaluate all or as much of their body language as possible.  Reading body language and how to interpret can be a book, or actually several books. Use your instincts, which again you’ll develop through PRACTICE with your male and female friends.


When you are talking, ALWAYS be ready to stop. Learn what the other person does with their mouth before speaking. That is how the best conversations go. (YES, we are talking about flirting, but the heart of a great flirt is a solid conversation.) While you are talking you should be stimulating them! Forget whatever you think you know about sex, sexy, and where and how to touch someone to turn them on. THE BRAIN is the most important sex organ. Watch their mouth while they talk. It’s close to the eyes, so bounce your attention back and forth. Watch their mouth while you talk. That is just sexy too anyways. If you haven’t noticed yet in your own life, notice in the movies, TV, whatever about where people’s eyes are before they kiss. Way before we kiss someone or before they are kissed, that other person is watching the other person’s mouth.

Have something to talk about from every aisle in the grocery store

Be ready to talk about anything and everything. Also, as a rule, go online and read jokes periodically. All kinds of jokes. They don’t even have to be funny to you. You just have to be able to remember them. Clean jokes are better than dirty jokes.


Make sure as often as you can, paraphrase what the other person says before you say something. Not all the time, but when appropriate. Pause before you speak too, give them long lingering looks. Be comfortable with silence. That is also a little known, under appreciated aspect of a good conversation,  being comfortable with silence, enjoying each other’s company. It’s like a good meal. What they are saying is so filling and savory you have to pause occasionally because you’re enjoying it so much!!!

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